when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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