he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
