I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
