I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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