the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
