I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
well you can't waste a boner
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
