Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize