BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
