Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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