I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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