I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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