well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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