You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize