She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Let's get the cat blown out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
