Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Randomize
