Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
