Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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