I don't usually arrange sex via text message
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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