And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
