i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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