this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Rumble strips road head = magical
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
