some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
they're like a gay fantastic four
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I FOUND THE LEGS
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
