im drinking this country out of the recession.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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