your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
