Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
