it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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