Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
