I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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