so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
