But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
