We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
