i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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