Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
