theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
