You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
two words: eviction party
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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