Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
