Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize