she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
