kristin has been a bad kristin
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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