i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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