Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
