is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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