just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
