This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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