no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
