Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize