Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
