Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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