Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Pooping to opera.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
