My brain says no but my pants say off.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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