so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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