she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
