So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
