If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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