cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
