how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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